The 'Burgh (8/12/2020). -M.Weisgerber

I remember being lost in the 'Burgh, half drunk, waiting upon a large bed
while your garbled phone with love upon the reciever, it was your name in my head.

It was your voice on the dial, a desire on the mattress but there could barely understand a sign.

I wanted to listen, be there how I could yet even then the sickness did arise.

I wanted to be your everything, fearful that you didn't understand the meaning of loss, or love

or all the things I still grandly display as an offering - such dust

it floats away beyond the chain link, it breaks beyond the dry sink

your very name makes the heart break, in the many ways that simple could and matter.  

A year - a year to get a life a moving off of hold.  A day.

It was love: a moment, a week - anything to keep up with jogger that was you.  Leg sweat.  

Moving fast, terry ho!  She will not last for long, and even though I filled your heart, a hope, 

you could not survive past the profile, the cases, the wasted version that was we.  

First one, then another, yet I always keep coming back to here.  You know the place.  

I missed her so, tried to tell her too, thinking of the shame and hate that followed. 

I miss(ed) you more, now that ever been, this sugarland breaking before the high.

Oh, how I wanted her to drive up, to experience adventure on the road, oh

then there was you.  There was the hope that could fall off the mountainside.  

Oh how I want you to break this cyclical soon to be, oh how I wish to be more than

A river valley rising.  Filling so.  

Everything else it fell away.  You now, there forevermore.  

I remember wandering Toronto before I knew it, them, wishing to take the you I didn't yet know

to all the faraway places, the heat, the droplets coming down

the places that yet could be so impressive; so much color.  

A strange park there filled with another flag, made all out of roses and coriander bushes.

It was so cold then, all the fell shapes rising - a strange bar

with odd English types seeking the same sex workers as you and I worked to hold, the

lakeshore a distance memory to be held betwixt us, Maryland

away from - my days became so blurred yet I enjoyed the clarity given.  

That land doesn't have any natural lakes yet that is where my heart keeps falling back to, I

should have know the insanity, I should have love you before calamity I

didn't know that I should have avoided you to keep you sane.  Hating myself there.  Wishing

to drown myself in a puddle that didn't count towards service.  

I remember wanting a future before it was found, I recall being

a bit tired, a bit curious at the you of you, the side

of your butt as you danced, oh God there was an acumen, a chance.  I

needed to be your everything and failed I...

I wanted to be that special someone, yet it takes two telling truths, no

lies amongst the feted, the failures, the hurt there everywhere.  Still rising everywhere.  

There was brick there, there was a simple chance at waiting, then there was

a plotting upon the strong legs, a nice hotel you didn't want to visit.  There was

a strong wind, sometimes green upon the receiving just this hard shell, a fire

rising every day here in the fall that I didn't know existing.  

a building that was nearing all the finishing.  

It was dark and blue there, a land of many hills, no sound.  I can't seem to see the sunset now,

all of this reads as cheap thrills, but you know forever the how I mentioned that

I will always love you.  Near that place of shame, where you tamed me so.  

Witness to your other fate.  

Don't be so angry, so full of hate.  Look this way, see this everything that still remains, its

unfettered now and though you have to look up every tenth word you also know

what my soul is like.  That this and every love 

can be true.  

Then the day breaks.  The same shakes, love its water in the borough.  

I'm fallow now, finished.