"Sept 26, 2019
Mark,
I wanted to send you a few things
to remind you of home. And to
remind you of our love. I am
very happy that you appear to
be settling in and that your new
job is off to a good start. I am
so excited for the new
opportunities that have come your
way and will continue to arrive.
I look forward to celebrating
your success with you. And
you know I will be there (here?)
for you in tough times as well.
I miss you a little more each day,
I love you and I love us.
(Heart)"
Her. You. What
Once
Was
and
Never
Meant to
BE.
No love, I haven't forgotten, yes
I hold these words so true, oh
God how they burn they curse they
at the moment don't ring so very true.
I didn't make it, settle, in, we didn't last,
what then is the purpose of the words, when
all is lies, all is broken, all time
has passed.
There certainly was no home, there isn't now any love, your
not all that very happy, the job has failed and gone.
I've certainly collapsed apart there's nothing left to rate of celeb's, you
really didn't care, when I most really needed you, you certainly
were not there.
I don't think that you now much miss me, our love it fell apart, I
don't want to hurt or hit reset, I
don't think I have the time, the patience, the heart. I
really want to love you, I desperately want these words to be true, I
wanted them to be so then, be so now, I...god love, I
still very much am in love with you.
I want to send YOU some small things, I really
want/need/crave/desire a home. I really need some love, love,
before its said and gone.
I really need to matter, I need someone to care, I
think I've once more stumbled, again, I
really wish you cared.
No more from the table, no more in the halls, this world its all
of darkness - its broken, now I continue the fall.
So take these words from you to me now then back to you, may
it shine a light on all the bad things, may it be an omen true, may
its simple words have mattered, may your heart carry you far away, for
we all are soon for bed, and even my name....I guess it didn't matter anyways.
Adieu.
Friday, May 29, 2020
Cant Listen to the Music No More (5/29/2020). -M.Weisgerber
Hey love your infection its spreading, this organ of bliss
not beating any more with a passion, only throbbing as a head, the
love I feel not congealing, the bleeding its all amiss, a
simple son is setting, the time we shared I miss.
So its country tunes I listen to, its all the flavors I couldn't stand, for
when your kicked out of heaven, you can't be a picky man.
When the soft light fades, when the banjo strums on and on, its
the other life I think of, its the moments surely gone.
I can't think of Paris, or the sand below my toes, I
can't listen to the coqui, or the sounds of things I love.
Its all ruined, broken, scattered, gone; I think 1/64th of me would agree,
I chumped it, its screwed - worse, you wont (can't) forgive or forget about me
I must have done a death march, I must have let the sadness win
I miss the time when resting heads on chests, only meant
that I was able to listen to the heartbeats - supple, true, amen.
So if you tend to get this, if the words sing true, I'm
sure you'll see the error, I'm sure you'll see the love for you.
For its not a failure rising, its not this world of sand; if
you have a ring, then forever I'll hold your hand.
not beating any more with a passion, only throbbing as a head, the
love I feel not congealing, the bleeding its all amiss, a
simple son is setting, the time we shared I miss.
So its country tunes I listen to, its all the flavors I couldn't stand, for
when your kicked out of heaven, you can't be a picky man.
When the soft light fades, when the banjo strums on and on, its
the other life I think of, its the moments surely gone.
I can't think of Paris, or the sand below my toes, I
can't listen to the coqui, or the sounds of things I love.
Its all ruined, broken, scattered, gone; I think 1/64th of me would agree,
I chumped it, its screwed - worse, you wont (can't) forgive or forget about me
I must have done a death march, I must have let the sadness win
I miss the time when resting heads on chests, only meant
that I was able to listen to the heartbeats - supple, true, amen.
So if you tend to get this, if the words sing true, I'm
sure you'll see the error, I'm sure you'll see the love for you.
For its not a failure rising, its not this world of sand; if
you have a ring, then forever I'll hold your hand.
Tuesday, May 19, 2020
What is This (Day)? (5/20/2020) -M.Weisgerber
I awoke on a small cot, confused again upon the day.
Drinking - did that old devil once more take hold?
The thing that took my grandfather, a confusion of the brain.
No, something different now, a movement in the clouds
Dead then, sure, that old eventuality took hold
for figures hovered there, and kindly walked me quick along:
sometimes its madness that comes to claim us all.
They entered fast, took me away to a place all of white
They held her there, far at the edge of the corners of men,
gave me a gavel a totem and everything in between.
"What of this one?" they asked, pointing down.
She? She is someone I loved! said I before they hauled her up.
I could only but glance a sigh, they readied such sounds for those condemned to die.
"Did she scramble the brains, make everything thus too hard to live?"
No, she was great, in her own way. If anything, it was I
I alone who broke - should have done a better job preparing
for her coming at the midpoint of the way, the day - guys, shes so really truely great.
"You lie: we know this - her heart is closed, it is cold, ready for the execution necessary
here, you can see it for yourself." Sure true there hung a crystal
it hovered there, a single piece of snow made before the descend.
I tried again to catch that bit of face, reach out, show
the same old love I ever tattooed on a deeper place than pain,
placed there in that inner skin, the heart of men - if to never be the same.
Ah, no matter - all would soon and then be done.
It couldn't be her, no, I knew those days of sweat!
The heat that baked, a landy Mar before the decend
twas me destined for the cot, the break! ...yet still.
There had once been words of songs I hadn't quite heard, lyrics she sung out into the dark
True too, she tried to show me journals, again and again how they blurred;
to show me the albums that mattered to her most..
And there on their scribbled edges...had I felt there, cold? A chill before the storm?
No, I thought to myself, anything but this - please no.
"Would you do it again, for a soul such as this? Love a frame, give in to a name?"
and on that I had to laugh a foolish gaff!
Again? Oh, buddy, I've spent oh so many a days, a
rotted twisted piece of shame - don't make me step up, you
wont like in what you would and then there see.
"You couldn't get through! Fool, she never truly loved you,
there is hatred here, and fear..and now you have to choose!"
Oh buddy, let me show you the meaning then of love...
I did; took the gun and knee capped them all so deep, did further terrible things
but still left them all an inch to claw their way back from, in where they lay
sure, the dictatorship failed, the light caught wails, but then we both were free.
We ran - so much of me wanted to know the frame before the flee
was expected height, the tattoos all seeming to fit
but that heart - no, nothing I could ever have expected to see between the bleeds.
Run you there girl thus by the door, I did my best to matter once again
put that crystal down if you really want to live, dont follow my confusion
Learn from me as once I learned from you; by the way - we really once had shown!
I still don't know if it was her, its true, or if the crystal bent of cracked or broke - she fled.
Yet in the end I was allowed to sing these words unto the sky, no matter how it looked
you got through. you mattered. you got out (am unsure to where now). be better. be you.
This same lesson I hope to pass along into the blue - to cry out from me to you.
But it was still just a dream,
these are still words echoing out into bleakest silence; a scream.
I woke then again on the same cot, different day:
a time a then for the repeat, to a different form of beat - adieu.
Drinking - did that old devil once more take hold?
The thing that took my grandfather, a confusion of the brain.
No, something different now, a movement in the clouds
Dead then, sure, that old eventuality took hold
for figures hovered there, and kindly walked me quick along:
sometimes its madness that comes to claim us all.
They entered fast, took me away to a place all of white
They held her there, far at the edge of the corners of men,
gave me a gavel a totem and everything in between.
"What of this one?" they asked, pointing down.
She? She is someone I loved! said I before they hauled her up.
I could only but glance a sigh, they readied such sounds for those condemned to die.
"Did she scramble the brains, make everything thus too hard to live?"
No, she was great, in her own way. If anything, it was I
I alone who broke - should have done a better job preparing
for her coming at the midpoint of the way, the day - guys, shes so really truely great.
"You lie: we know this - her heart is closed, it is cold, ready for the execution necessary
here, you can see it for yourself." Sure true there hung a crystal
it hovered there, a single piece of snow made before the descend.
I tried again to catch that bit of face, reach out, show
the same old love I ever tattooed on a deeper place than pain,
placed there in that inner skin, the heart of men - if to never be the same.
Ah, no matter - all would soon and then be done.
It couldn't be her, no, I knew those days of sweat!
The heat that baked, a landy Mar before the decend
twas me destined for the cot, the break! ...yet still.
There had once been words of songs I hadn't quite heard, lyrics she sung out into the dark
True too, she tried to show me journals, again and again how they blurred;
to show me the albums that mattered to her most..
And there on their scribbled edges...had I felt there, cold? A chill before the storm?
No, I thought to myself, anything but this - please no.
"Would you do it again, for a soul such as this? Love a frame, give in to a name?"
and on that I had to laugh a foolish gaff!
Again? Oh, buddy, I've spent oh so many a days, a
rotted twisted piece of shame - don't make me step up, you
wont like in what you would and then there see.
"You couldn't get through! Fool, she never truly loved you,
there is hatred here, and fear..and now you have to choose!"
Oh buddy, let me show you the meaning then of love...
I did; took the gun and knee capped them all so deep, did further terrible things
but still left them all an inch to claw their way back from, in where they lay
sure, the dictatorship failed, the light caught wails, but then we both were free.
We ran - so much of me wanted to know the frame before the flee
was expected height, the tattoos all seeming to fit
but that heart - no, nothing I could ever have expected to see between the bleeds.
Run you there girl thus by the door, I did my best to matter once again
put that crystal down if you really want to live, dont follow my confusion
Learn from me as once I learned from you; by the way - we really once had shown!
I still don't know if it was her, its true, or if the crystal bent of cracked or broke - she fled.
Yet in the end I was allowed to sing these words unto the sky, no matter how it looked
you got through. you mattered. you got out (am unsure to where now). be better. be you.
This same lesson I hope to pass along into the blue - to cry out from me to you.
But it was still just a dream,
these are still words echoing out into bleakest silence; a scream.
I woke then again on the same cot, different day:
a time a then for the repeat, to a different form of beat - adieu.
The Uplifting (3/27/2020). -M.Weisgerber
Hey love, I'm still coping (and hope you know it well)
Still plodding along, falling up those same hills
the ones you always believed I could climb.
I made it, and even though I wish I could drag you up
those same sights, and the same peaks, I know
that you will always wish me well - that simple heart spark never wont will die.
I'll love you and even though you wont know it,
the trees will not cry out for our greatness, the moon
will not share any more tears than usual.
Oh girl, to be so thin, and carved, and idle here with my black cat,
no I do not love her more than you, and if
you would have asked me to bow down, or toss her out
through the living room window I may have obliged.
You were worth the tops of ten, the loving now as then,
The little street light out there a burning, calling me onward, faltered.
I always knew you were worth it, and only struggle on with the sadness,
the fact that you were always ok with the leaving, that a heart
like mine could break again and again in the face of such strength.
You were the type who could give up, and move on, and
though I probably can't right now, I'll do my best
to limp on, and write often, and write well, and though
every small
Hey love, I'm still coping (and you know it well)
Still plodding along, falling up those same hills
the ones you always believed I could climb.
I made it, and even though I wish I could drag you up
those same sights, and the same peaks, I know
that you will always wish me well - that simple heart spark never wont will die.
I'll love you and even though you wont know it,
the trees will not cry out for our greatness, the moon
will not share any more tears than usual.
Oh girl, to be so thin, and carved, and idle here with my black cat,
no I do not love her more than you, and if
you would have asked me to bow down, or toss her out
through the living room window I may have obliged.
You were worth the tops of ten, the loving now as then,
The little street light out there a burning, calling me onward, faltered.
I always knew you were worth it, and only struggle on with the sadness,
the fact that you were always ok with the leaving, that a heart
like mine could break again and again in the face of such strength.
You were the type who could give up, and move on, and
though I probably can't right now, I'll do my best
to limp on, and write often, and write well, and though
every small word is just a small stone in the pocket that can weigh down,
I only meant it as a well wish, a time upon the sanscript.
My respect for you, it fell when you spoke of helping, then
walked away, forever, always walking onward.
Just a burden, and like Jesus showed you, you gotta leave for
just a little while only a simple time this forever.
In this awayness there isn't sadness, nor longing; only love
the same kind there was and ever yet shall be.
Take it, let it bode you well. word is just a small stone in the pocket that can weigh down,
I only meant it as a well wish, a time upon the sanscript.
My respect for you, it fell when you spoke of helping, then
walked away, forever, always walking onward.
Just a burden, and like Jesus showed you, you gotta leave for
just a little while only a simple time this forever.
In this awayness there isn't sadness, nor longing; only love
the same kind there was and ever yet shall be.
Take it, let it bode you well.
Still plodding along, falling up those same hills
the ones you always believed I could climb.
I made it, and even though I wish I could drag you up
those same sights, and the same peaks, I know
that you will always wish me well - that simple heart spark never wont will die.
I'll love you and even though you wont know it,
the trees will not cry out for our greatness, the moon
will not share any more tears than usual.
Oh girl, to be so thin, and carved, and idle here with my black cat,
no I do not love her more than you, and if
you would have asked me to bow down, or toss her out
through the living room window I may have obliged.
You were worth the tops of ten, the loving now as then,
The little street light out there a burning, calling me onward, faltered.
I always knew you were worth it, and only struggle on with the sadness,
the fact that you were always ok with the leaving, that a heart
like mine could break again and again in the face of such strength.
You were the type who could give up, and move on, and
though I probably can't right now, I'll do my best
to limp on, and write often, and write well, and though
every small
Hey love, I'm still coping (and you know it well)
Still plodding along, falling up those same hills
the ones you always believed I could climb.
I made it, and even though I wish I could drag you up
those same sights, and the same peaks, I know
that you will always wish me well - that simple heart spark never wont will die.
I'll love you and even though you wont know it,
the trees will not cry out for our greatness, the moon
will not share any more tears than usual.
Oh girl, to be so thin, and carved, and idle here with my black cat,
no I do not love her more than you, and if
you would have asked me to bow down, or toss her out
through the living room window I may have obliged.
You were worth the tops of ten, the loving now as then,
The little street light out there a burning, calling me onward, faltered.
I always knew you were worth it, and only struggle on with the sadness,
the fact that you were always ok with the leaving, that a heart
like mine could break again and again in the face of such strength.
You were the type who could give up, and move on, and
though I probably can't right now, I'll do my best
to limp on, and write often, and write well, and though
every small word is just a small stone in the pocket that can weigh down,
I only meant it as a well wish, a time upon the sanscript.
My respect for you, it fell when you spoke of helping, then
walked away, forever, always walking onward.
Just a burden, and like Jesus showed you, you gotta leave for
just a little while only a simple time this forever.
In this awayness there isn't sadness, nor longing; only love
the same kind there was and ever yet shall be.
Take it, let it bode you well. word is just a small stone in the pocket that can weigh down,
I only meant it as a well wish, a time upon the sanscript.
My respect for you, it fell when you spoke of helping, then
walked away, forever, always walking onward.
Just a burden, and like Jesus showed you, you gotta leave for
just a little while only a simple time this forever.
In this awayness there isn't sadness, nor longing; only love
the same kind there was and ever yet shall be.
Take it, let it bode you well.
Sad Now (4/23/2020). -M.Weisgerber
Can't hold, cant call, can't be anything at all, really
just feeling selfish then, the same thing now as then
bored again, a Friday come to gone,
a sigh moving towards a song
For when last I burned, she looked away, she
deftly turned her head as I reached out, and
the lit fingers, smelling of charcoal reaching
had no effect but to stink upon her nose
Its a funny thing, to twist upon the cinders,
it makes a heart a churn, a shudder so, a slow amongst the yearn
For all is madness upon the strewn glass, all cannot cope, losing hope.
the clog; a clutter amongst her lashes.
All I got was static, sweet music thought upon the other end.
Couldn't be bold, couldn't last, moved too fast,
only crash and burn and burn and forever to keep with burning.
(This machine is jamming, the gears now they are a are failing)
So if I walk away, if I choose the boat or gun or goat or ledge,
-the many miles out to see where waves where only God can find me-
will it matter then, the waves riding high, the ring upon the water?
Where are the places where the cool kids go off to play?
Love has seized that willing heart, did add another lock, a chain.
Drowned now, ever so worth the pulling down hold called nakedness,
These strong bonds, a body yielded to both, wielded so
Love that cripples upon the staying.
So what is the right call then, as the day begins to fade?
What is the right path, when the waves give way to loss?
What is the strong bond, that never yields to give?
What are the right words, when all the world is dead?
See that figure out upon the water, or maybe sleep down there in the deep swim
Its fine though - knew you would be selfish from the get-go, and
I hope not me thus to be for long
slow now, everything is just moving fine, if oh if now so very slow, spinning now.
just feeling selfish then, the same thing now as then
bored again, a Friday come to gone,
a sigh moving towards a song
For when last I burned, she looked away, she
deftly turned her head as I reached out, and
the lit fingers, smelling of charcoal reaching
had no effect but to stink upon her nose
Its a funny thing, to twist upon the cinders,
it makes a heart a churn, a shudder so, a slow amongst the yearn
For all is madness upon the strewn glass, all cannot cope, losing hope.
the clog; a clutter amongst her lashes.
All I got was static, sweet music thought upon the other end.
Couldn't be bold, couldn't last, moved too fast,
only crash and burn and burn and forever to keep with burning.
(This machine is jamming, the gears now they are a are failing)
So if I walk away, if I choose the boat or gun or goat or ledge,
-the many miles out to see where waves where only God can find me-
will it matter then, the waves riding high, the ring upon the water?
Where are the places where the cool kids go off to play?
Love has seized that willing heart, did add another lock, a chain.
Drowned now, ever so worth the pulling down hold called nakedness,
These strong bonds, a body yielded to both, wielded so
Love that cripples upon the staying.
So what is the right call then, as the day begins to fade?
What is the right path, when the waves give way to loss?
What is the strong bond, that never yields to give?
What are the right words, when all the world is dead?
See that figure out upon the water, or maybe sleep down there in the deep swim
Its fine though - knew you would be selfish from the get-go, and
I hope not me thus to be for long
slow now, everything is just moving fine, if oh if now so very slow, spinning now.
Other Worlds than These (5/19/2020). -M.Weisgerber
If a rabid rhinoceros was to have trampled you, run you down there back in June,
They would have given me time, let me cry, lick the many wounds maybe, but
been pushing me fast towards the door just all the simple same.
If a flock of hummingbirds carried you away on a sultry September eve, they
would have possibly considered letting me back for a moment, most of my life out there in boxes
upon the front lawn, anywhere else - confused at why I even bothered.
(I don't know why you hung out the zoo so much those days, or
why all the animals are out upon the loose, but its a funny thing to consider just the same)
----------------------------------------
If that car crash had killed you once upon a Thanksgiving sadness, no one
would have liked me there, all guarded eyes, shocked at my tears and passions
and many kind Christian words still left to say.
If this thing going round now were to take you soon, they would be angry I even noticed
dared to speak aloud your name.
No allowances, remittances - just go far and far away.
(It all feels like hate now, and I dont think
those cold and heavy weights best suit any of you)
----------------------------------------
Is this any way to live: surely not!
This is the life of fear between diving boards so long, but its love dear darling, it
was worth it for your flame, worth it for the chance to be better than the same.
It is what I tried to explain all along, why I thought your foolish ways of running
wouldn't do any good in the end. If God draws all children, and its later then back to games,
how do we manage, what crosses will be left then there to carr-y?
(So yes, I found the lessons, got back to that point I always needed yet to be,
your still alive though, still bogeying, yet none of it feels tame)
----------------------------------------
Still, five years on I will still love you just the same, fifty years on I will
still be proud to carry our time, such jokes, the laughs, whatever you call yourself these days
be the man you helped build, shift, make, always with banner held high.
So pass on in whatever manner you best think there will suit you - I promise
I wont give up upon the hope; the Godsong still is calling.
The reason is simple, the truth not soon forgot: our time it mattered, for in the end
there are other worlds, than these.
They would have given me time, let me cry, lick the many wounds maybe, but
been pushing me fast towards the door just all the simple same.
If a flock of hummingbirds carried you away on a sultry September eve, they
would have possibly considered letting me back for a moment, most of my life out there in boxes
upon the front lawn, anywhere else - confused at why I even bothered.
(I don't know why you hung out the zoo so much those days, or
why all the animals are out upon the loose, but its a funny thing to consider just the same)
----------------------------------------
If that car crash had killed you once upon a Thanksgiving sadness, no one
would have liked me there, all guarded eyes, shocked at my tears and passions
and many kind Christian words still left to say.
If this thing going round now were to take you soon, they would be angry I even noticed
dared to speak aloud your name.
No allowances, remittances - just go far and far away.
(It all feels like hate now, and I dont think
those cold and heavy weights best suit any of you)
----------------------------------------
Is this any way to live: surely not!
This is the life of fear between diving boards so long, but its love dear darling, it
was worth it for your flame, worth it for the chance to be better than the same.
It is what I tried to explain all along, why I thought your foolish ways of running
wouldn't do any good in the end. If God draws all children, and its later then back to games,
how do we manage, what crosses will be left then there to carr-y?
(So yes, I found the lessons, got back to that point I always needed yet to be,
your still alive though, still bogeying, yet none of it feels tame)
----------------------------------------
Still, five years on I will still love you just the same, fifty years on I will
still be proud to carry our time, such jokes, the laughs, whatever you call yourself these days
be the man you helped build, shift, make, always with banner held high.
So pass on in whatever manner you best think there will suit you - I promise
I wont give up upon the hope; the Godsong still is calling.
The reason is simple, the truth not soon forgot: our time it mattered, for in the end
there are other worlds, than these.
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