In That Moment, You/I...We Should Call (6/11/2020). -M.Weisgerber

When the punk revolution came love, it was

without expectation or blistering kindness, or any of

the million small things you attempted to explain to me, wasn't 

anything you meant, or tried, or tricked; neither you nor your empty bullshit.

When I, packed as a hundred thousand others in this and every town

got stuck, sealed, crated away in despair, lost our damn minds even, you

from lack of meaning or retreat didn't even attempt to care or call, didn't

take the forty steps down your empty hall, you in your anger, your worry, simply

 

didn't matter.

We missed your face, Love, we missed

the grace that always should have been, all the passions calling.

It's not the way love, of all the lessons you dearly drilled in, worked

your hardest to impart on me or anyone that would listen.

Love it...mattered, and though like scales we cover our flesh

in all the colors we never could express or paint or carve

in any other language other than love, Love, it 

mattered and though we got pummeled, pulled through this haze

the dark days passed and it mattered love!  

We came out of our basements, traveled past all the thin roads

that meandered through your woods, sometimes hampered dearly

as we moved on a while yet again, love, yet it MATTERED.  Love it mattered.

Dearest, that revolution you spent your dimes by, along with

all the follicles of your twitching hand arrived love, and

though you probably were too busy watching tube to care love, 

it arrived in time, finally, and now as the time that matters most arrives love, we

all sit in the street ready now to listen.

...will you?

Moonshine (8/31/2020) - M.Weisgerber

You and I we share this open wound,

yours down low, me enough to drive every man

even the very boys far out past the glen, beyond to the valleys even

somewhere towards punk obscurity, bleeding there profuse and ably.

Its all beautiful there past your closed window blinds and

no matter how much I cry or scream to the void beyond you you remain

Unmovable.  

No that's still you, yes it's there, unflappable yes

it lives between the starshine reflecting back at us sometimes yes 

it matters still, no I don't want to go away from this yes

I will.

I want to see those gents in black lounge there under a hot sun, look

out upon the Tetons and not be moved, see

the very heart of you clicking, beating away unchanged.

(I wanted to beat them) 

Even that seems not to matter somehow, just long paint.  

Its a twisting of your cuffs, the very walking of your dog that

is a subtle reminder that the world needs to go

somewhere that is in yet here.

For I've seen that woman in true throws of passions, I've

seen the remnants of love that could yet be (have been), I

was lucky enough to hold that hand, have it twist round

the very heart of the very part of me that matters so.  

To someone, at least.

Yea, yea sure I've shared that head, that bed yea

been best, better than I've ever yet been

knew all the chords, felt the fray rising, settling,

crying now that my fingers only refused their duty to play. 

No, no more - my heart it once knew they way.

No more aspiring, for she does not need it, want it - refuses even

to stand amongst the attempts at cheating or loving and hated passions all

driving us away.  No she doesn't.  Maybe she cant.  

I'm sorry love, that now's t he time, the season grown, I'm 

sorry love for these words are simply not my own I am

sorry, yet a heart of love, a life of joy I'll

forever be an attempt at holding you and this life, this gift of sweated love its gone

somehow 

astray.

Adieu.  Then,

you.

I’ll Know I’ve Made It, When I Get That Painting Home - Reprise (7/14/2020). -M.Weisgerber

There's a shiver going up now over my shoulder

When I hear the sun a blowing, when nears the rain and thunder blowing horn

Gunna take the time, break strides of this tender babe clutching hard

The thin lines between feet going deep,

Here comes the body strong, a healthy song thrumming

A hardened soul amongst the shattered tongues

Cuz your gunna blow me hard, gunna blow me down

Take me there, take me home, roll me over.

We share our dreaming, from time to time

We share our loving, this chunk of key-lime pie; 

sliced as a heart, again and again and again

same story, same end.

honey hold me tight just one more night and I swear

I’ll never love her like you – never love like this again, never

feel the night air coming close never

hold your covers up below my nose, not.

A lost a son I never had, not a father always mad (so sad)

Caught in the alchemist nightmare, the tubes and the fumes twitching

Lost in a back room, walls, shattered dreams not made for this purpose, not

falling apart in the cold stream down the road not,

someone you'd ever like to hold.  

There's a shiver, blowing over my shoulder

Prepping for the hard rain, on a thin frame

There's a comfort in the sadness, held.

There's a comfort in the drizzle falling down that we all can know,

A sadness I’ll always hold, a simple longing for

Her hatred, her simple fact of knowing such release.  

Hey Other Love (8/3/2020)

It feels so wrong to put these words here, 

you beside the she, 

so, here it goes, 

anyhow...

Hey other love, I 

finally got down to those other long shores, the 

ones you waded upon long ago, floated there

followed them in time like you knew I always would,

called out to the open ocean with a song and a prayer

and a hope that all this would make sense somehow; could matter.

That the ink can't fall from the page, drain down the short table to

stain my shirt as it wound its way to way to the wooden floor.

Dribble off as I got lost in these tall mists, dreaming again - 

that the shore wouldn't go on and on or that in my clumsiness I

would fall or jump right in, same as then, same as always.

That shattered hearts really cant do much more than break

and break and break and break,

or fall in beside the rushing waves that call to claim them.

Though your dead now in oh so many awful, so terrible of ways

though your lip is a sneer along with a mind that makes a

snarl at all the thoughts spinning round from the broken days

alongside the though of him, of me, of my voice shaking, I still

wish to say these things still mattered.  I hear (heard?) you -

the days they didn't drift off outwards totally into oblivion.

You're a flashback along a reel on the one film being screened in town, sure

(nothing then to borrow, every inch only to hold, to listen, to follow somehow)

...but the land here is beautiful in a way that your soft feet would know,

once felt here, may (hopefully) do so again, as on my heart

carved out a space, then echoed out to a place where any who

looked or tried or even dared could find them.

No more adieus you fool - not from this simple man, or any others

Its not, shouldn't ever be though of as any form of....of...of...

Fuck your weakness, fuck your entitled sense of harassment, you'll

grow one day to see that other love takes on many forms...

Good luck.

Reminder (9/26/2019-5/29/2020). -Others and a Little Bit, of ME

"Sept 26, 2019

Mark,
I wanted to send you a few things
to remind you of home.  And to
remind you of our love.  I am
very happy that you appear to
be settling in and that your new
job is off to a good start.  I am
so excited for the new
opportunities that have come your
way and will continue to arrive.
I look forward to celebrating
your success with you.  And
you know I will be there (here?)
for you in tough times as well.
I miss you a little more each day,
I love you and I love us.

(Heart)"
Her.  You.  What
Once
Was
and
Never
Meant to
BE.

No love, I haven't forgotten, yes
I hold these words so true, oh
God how they burn they curse they
at the moment don't ring so very true. 

I didn't make it, settle, in, we didn't last,
what then is the purpose of the words, when
all is lies, all is broken, all time
has passed.

There certainly was no home, there isn't now any love, your
not all that very happy, the job has failed and gone.
I've certainly collapsed apart there's nothing left to rate of celeb's, you
really didn't care, when I most really needed you, you certainly

were not there.

I don't think that you now much miss me, our love it fell apart, I
don't want to hurt or hit reset, I
don't think I have the time, the patience, the heart.  I
really want to love you, I desperately want these words to be true, I

wanted them to be so then, be so now, I...god love, I
still very much am in love with you.
I want to send YOU some small things, I really
want/need/crave/desire a home.  I really need some love, love,

before its said and gone.

I really need to matter, I need someone to care, I
think I've once more stumbled, again, I
really wish you cared.

No more from the table, no more in the halls, this world its all
of darkness - its broken, now I continue the fall.

So take these words from you to me now then back to you, may
it shine a light on all the bad things, may it be an omen true, may
its simple words have mattered, may your heart carry you far away, for
we all are soon for bed, and even my name....I guess it didn't matter anyways.

Adieu. 

Listening to a Link in the Park (this and every other Night) (4/9/2020). -M.Weisgerber

Righteous hard, flowing fast now,
calling you out, spelling each little letter,
the datum line its pointing
(even if it was the only thing I do, I can do for you)
for now and evermore.

What did you ever learn about my time, my people,
The five hundred days of solitude, insanity rising,
(I'm sure it was a moon cycle somewhere, orbs floating past)
Those were just the start - the real trial was feeling you close,
waiting patiently, the waves, reverberation aligning

I spent a hundred lifetimes there, despair thus weeping out, down
You were there on the couch, when my sister doth crawled by,
Been crawling this land, feeling the fool
Inside my head now;
what did you see when the son went up?

Spent twice as long, considering every bend of your shoe,
boots on, laces tight: ignoring the scent of sweat in the night.
A shift in the morn, the way you look before the mirror.
I have a name, a face, feelings, sure - caring all the same
Trade it all, burn it twice again mayhap, just for a lock of hair

Its memory; its this little black cat familiar and a ly calling,
Its this time, this place, the way the rays land upon my face,
A holler in the dark, social distance in the park,
Where finally everyone is looking more like me;
masks on, waiting for the gone. 

They arn't lost babe (sometimes wish they were)
Gone shaman babe, figured it out just the same
With you still here; gods, how this is starting to feel
some word lost to time, rolling on, endless sure
that one word, whose name I'm starting to

forget.