i was told that god can be found in the rain,
but the more i watched, the more it made me cry
i mean, what kind of faith can a person have, anyways,
in a world where atheists roam
i figured that it might help, to stare past the sky, to the stars
to pretend and fake so that I mind not
the iron beasts that gnaw on my ribcage
there is something sweet about it
the rain, i mean
sheets and sheets that beat a fury
because numbness often feels like that
it makes you want to stick a bar,
a rod of iron through that soft spot on your neck
where spine joins skull
where hair starts to grow feebly upward
to reach back and feel that prickled skin - pull it taunt
strike, and you can feel it.
does it make you feel alive for a change
was it the relationship that made me feel this way
or the rainfall - it must have been the scars
for numbness leads to anger
anger to violence
vice to such happy times for some
(at least briefly, I suppose), with metal fever
the funny part of that hate, was that it made me grin
as we destroy something so beautiful
(it could even be ourselves)
and yet we smile through the froth on our tounges
because i was smiling then, as i am laughing now
though maybe less sadistically
if i were to go backward, i think it would all make sense
dont worry about me, god-damnit - cant you see i'm happy
